I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
