Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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