We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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