just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
