I puked a lego.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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