She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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