It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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