he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
