No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
