Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
