How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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