you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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