I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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