How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
