I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
