hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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