she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
