I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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