Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
