you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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