doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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