after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
