dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
