She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my sisters under your porch take her home
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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