Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
