The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke