i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.