There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
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it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.