Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
