You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
