somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
