i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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