She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
