Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
