my mouth tastes like poor choices
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
