Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
