I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
