Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
