You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm like, not good at living.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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