who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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