Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I FOUND THE LEGS
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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