I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
