It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
