Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
