When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
