I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This baby is an asshole
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
