I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
high people should be assigned attendants
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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