i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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