We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
