What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
