i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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