Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
