I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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