why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
