i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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