69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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