how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
