Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
