He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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