I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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