I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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