Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
