did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
