idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
