Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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