is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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