so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
