So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize