I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
