i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
