I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
